The Flagrant Two

Australia prepares to turn its back on Sixers

Australia braces itself as rumours of a Ben Simmons trade continue to grow.

For many years, many Australian were unaware that Philadelphia had more than the Rocky Steps and Cheese Steaks, let alone a thriving basketball team.

But by sheer coincidence, the Philadelphia 76ers experienced an unprecedented influx of Australian fans right after drafting the athletic Aussie, Ben Simmons, in 2016.

Never had the sport of basketball been so popular among Australians, at least not since Andrew Bogut’s drafting in 2005.

Obsession with Simmons reached a crescendo when he was awarded Rookie of the Year in 2018, controversially beating out Donovan Mitchell.

“I used to think basketball was just for seppos, but now I heard this bloke from Box Hill is having a good go at it,” says local Aussie man in a Bombers scarf and beanie.

Although Simmons has expanded his game by hitting not one but two three pointers for the first time in his career, this season with the Sixers has left a lot to be desired and the lack of chemistry between him and centre Joel Embiid has left many wondering whether it’s worth keeping both of them.

The Warriors appear to be the most likely destination for Simmons, which will be good news for Australian Bandwagon Warrior fans who haven’t already picked up a Bandwagon Lakers or Bandwagon Bucks jersey yet.

But not all Australians are happy with this attitude.

Philadelphia coach Brett Brown, who is also the coach of the Australian Boomers, expressed disconcertion over the allegiances of his fellow countrymen.

“You guys do realise I’m Australian too right?” Brown said.

To which Australia replied: “Yeah but you don’t have a jersey.”

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